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The Long Way Out

by Petaluma Vale

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1.
Gooseberry Girl Gooseberry girl, when you gonna make your own swirl, gooseberry girl? Gooseberry girl, when you gonna make your own swirl, gooseberry girl? Gooseberry girl, when you gonna turn your ring around, gooseberry girl? Gooseberry girl, when you gonna turn your ring around? You can bathe every day in cherry juice, But it won’t do you no use You can soak every day in peach purée But it won’t do you no use Gooseberry girl, when you gonna change from lost to found, gooseberry girl? Gooseberry girl, when you gonna change from free to bound? Gooseberry girl, no matter what you eat you can’t change the seed inside No, no, no matter what you eat you can’t change the seed inside You can bathe every day in cherry juice, But it won’t do you no use You can soak every day in peach purée But it won’t do you no use Don’t rain your silly tears on the turtledove parade Don’t get in the way of the parasol promenade Not unless you have got yourself a noop-link I think not, I think not Gooseberry girl, oh no, don’t lose heart for maybe, there’s another Gooseberry girl, on no, don’t lose heart for maybe, there’s another Gooseberry girl who you’ll really jam with And then things’ll get toasty Oh, you silly gooseberry girl, silly...
2.
Pet Me 03:38
Pet Me I would like to rub my shoulder up against your thigh Don’t ask me why I would like to curl up like a ball upon your pillow Just like a springtime pussywillow I’m so sweet and cute and furry I’m cuter if your vision’s blurry Don’t you wanna Take me home and pet me? Don’t you wanna Take me home and let me loose? Aren’t you sad that You haven’t really met me? Don’t you wanna... My previous master thought that keeping me in his closet was nice Just with my litter box and the mice I escaped to be made fun of by my fellow strays I’ll find a kinder keeper one of these days I refuse to be immured any longer Those walls were strong, but I am stronger Don’t attempt to collar me or lock me in or tame me But could you please rename me Whatever you do please do not rebuke me And be careful not to spook me I’ll slip right out the ‘partment door If you stuff me in a drawer Oh, scratchin’ at your door, Oh, writhin’ on your floor
3.
The Last Brother As I sit and stare into your vacant eyes of blue I see the figure of a man who long ago was you But the tune’s still playing in your brow And if only you could remember how You’d sit and be aware with us right now Sing, boy Sing, boy Sing of the crossroad dances you enjoyed Sing, boy Sing, boy Sing of the laughter and the things destroyed Now my mother’s mother ties me to a land I hold in awe A family that was raised upon a land they called Beal Trá And her lilting voice still comes to me From her old apartment, 5D Which I will likely never see again Now your brothers and your sisters had a different point of view But still they had the beacon blood in common with you And I see their haunting pale blue eyes And I hear the haunting banshee cries And I fear I ne’er shall be as wise as all of you
4.
Lampworker 05:06
Lampworker You’re warming me in the blue flame’s tip My form is shifting, sliding I’m gently turned in your deft grip Your fingers so inviting You’ve got me melting into glass I’m wrapping around your skewer You’ve got me dreaming of Venice Damn you, now I’m wishing for more I’m easily swayed by your craftsmanship No need to stall deciding Your artisan’s skill has me biting my lip It’s simply no use hiding Don’t string me along, lampworker Don’t string me along You know that it’s wrong, lampworker Don’t string me along To feel so safe is a rarity Maybe I should be more frightened I desperately need some clarity Before my embrace is tightened
5.
Lily of the Valley Lily of the Valley, Lily of the Valley Lily of the Valley, so sweet to me Lily of the Valley, Lily of the Valley Why do you slouch over so modestly? Oh little my sister, oh little my sister Oh little my sister, my springtime child Remember to always, remember to always Remember to always grow tall and wild Don’t concentrate on your roots so hard You’re not as stuck as you think you are Don’t concentrate on your roots so hard You’re not as stuck as you think you are The sky isn’t so heavy, the sky isn’t so heavy The sky isn’t so heavy, no need for a knell The clouds do move onwards, the clouds to move onwards So shake off and jingle your little white bell Lily of the Valley, Lily of the Valley Lily of the Valley, so sweet to me Lily of the Valley, Lily of the Valley Why do you slouch over so modestly?
6.
Song of Rapunzel heavy breath down my neck words that cling questioning I cannot answer you when you’re so close to me I cannot answer you when you’re so close to me ah, let me out of here ah, where the air is clear ah, where I feel the sun ah, where I can run chains and boulders on my shoulders make my bones feel like a crone’s I am too young for this, time will not wait for me I am too young for this, time will not wait for me I have a prince who comes and visits me tells me about all of the things I could be if I could just disregard what is eating my heart, oh knots and snares in my hair grown so long years, years gone I refuse to sever my locks, oh they are everything that I’ve got, oh somewhere I know only I hold the power to escape from this ivory tower somewhere, somewhere I know there is a way to go but ain’t it so easy, honey ain’t it so easy, molasses to view the world through a pair of iron-barred glasses
7.
Easiest Prey 04:59
Easiest Prey Well as long as you think of yourself being as low as dirt You’re gonna let people walk all over you And as long as you try to pull love to your heart up through your skirt You’re gonna have lovers who abuse you I’m sorry to inform ya Don’t mean to alarm ya Ms. Riding Hood, you’re lost again in the woods I only say it for your own good You’re the easiest prey On the menu today You’re the easiest prey On the menu today A wolf can sniff you out From a mile away You’re the easiest prey On the menu today It’s a replayed situation, only different faces A tragedy that’s getting awfully old I can always detect the black and blue and purple traces That they leave all over your soul Sorry to inform ya Don’t mean to alarm ya Ms. Riding Hood, you’re lost again in the woods I only say it for your own good You’re the easiest prey On the menu today You’re the easiest prey On the menu today A wolf can sniff you out From a mile away You’re the easiest prey On the menu today You might’ve read all the self-help books You might’ve joined some nice support groups But you still beat yourself to the ground at the end of the day You need to think those kind thoughts louder Smash all those mean thoughts into powder And then smile and watch them blow away Well you didn’t have the greatest childhood you might have known I know you’re coming from a Home Sour Home But now you are a grown-up girl and you can do things on your own It’s time to make lemonade from all those lemons Sorry to inform ya Don’t mean to alarm ya Ms. Riding Hood, you’re lost again in the woods I only say it for your own good You’re the easiest prey On the menu today You’re the easiest prey On the menu today A wolf can sniff you out From a mile away You’re the easiest prey On the menu today When will you make the decision To stop your self-derision And forgive yourself for being human You need to love yourself for who you are Yes love yourself for who you are Yes love yourself in this moment Well as long as you think of yourself being as low as dirt You’re gonna let people walk all over you
8.
Happy 08:39
Happy I couldn’t keep my heart from leaping so I felt the secret I was keeping grow And when I told you, you were stunned and speechless On Sunday mornings they don’t preach this, no I thought God just wanted me to be happy Why would He want me to live a lie? I thought God just wanted me to be happy Why would He want me to so despise myself? And what of Sr. Mary Josephine? She realized she was different at sixteen She needn’t be contrite for what God made her Her years of chastity have spayed her, oh I thought God just wanted me to be happy Why would He want me to live a lie? I thought God just wanted me to be happy Why would He want me to so despise myself? And you say queer person, black person, hey, I got your back, person; yeah yeah, right on But then queer person, black person gonna have my grandchildren... wait wait, hold on And what if I fall in with whom you fear? Will you accept whomever I hold dear? Will you be ashamed to show our wedding portrait? Will you call us “friends” and turn a shade of scarlet? I thought God just wanted me to be happy Why would He want me to live a lie? I thought God just wanted me to be happy Why would He want me to so despise myself? And if you think that it’ll change me, genome rearrange me, you’re so wrong If you think my heart won’t open to let any hope in, well don’t hold your breath for too long
9.
Sing Along 03:54
Sing Along Way way back when they didn’t have any tapes or CDs Back before the advent of MIDI files or MP3s I mean back in the day before the music box, Victrolas, or LPs People would sing together to put their minds at ease Why don’t people like to sing along anymore? Whatever you wave in their face is such a bore When did participation become a chore? I think that whole attitude is pure manure All the music was live and it was made before your eyes Anything could happen, the air was laden with surprise But of course there were the old familiar tunes on which you could rely And you’d play and sing and laugh and maybe sometimes even cry Why don’t people like to sing along anymore? Whatever you wave in their face is such a bore When did participation become a chore? I think that whole attitude is pure manure, so Sing along with me, Sing along with me, Sing along with me It’s as easy as one-two-three Choices are never ending in this modern land Plastic is all that your feeling with your hand We’re all so used to sitting back and being entertained In effect imaginations are easily strained Why don’t people like to sing along anymore? Whatever you wave in their face is such a bore When did participation become a chore? I think that whole attitude is pure manure, so Sing along with me, Sing along with me, Sing along with me It’s as easy as one-two-three Sing along with me, Sing along with me, Sing along with me It’s as easy as one-two-three Sing along with me, Sing along with me, Sing along with me It’s as easy as one-two-three It’s as easy as one-two-three It’s as easy as one-two-three
10.
[hu] Knows 06:04
[hu] Knows [hu] knows, [hu] really knows [hu] knows, [hu] really knows [hu] I am and [hu] you are [hu] I am and [hu] you are [hu] I am and [hu] you are [hu] I am and [hu] you are well I can say I am me and you can say you’re you how quickly we forget now that we are each other, too yes I can say I am me and you can say you’re you how quickly it’s forgotten that we are each other, too well you can take the high road and I can take the low and we’ll both get to Scotland or wherever it is that one goes yes I can take the high road and you can take the low and we’ll both get to Ireland or wherever it is that one goes omphaloskepsis, solipsism omphaloskepsis, solipsism omphaloskepsis, solipsism omphalo... well if we lost our bodies and if we lost our minds maybe we’d come together and everything would be fine but we’ve been given bodies and we’ve been given minds and we must learn to work with them and be loving and kind I’m closing off the chatter and in the stream I’m lying o let me float effortlessly on the current divine hu allah, hu allah hu allah, hu allah hu allah, hu allah
11.
Ursa Minor 04:12
Ursa Minor “Go North,” you heard someone say. “Leave in the dark.” (Though you’d been told travel by day.) They always thought you were too small, too timid to make any bold, gutsy move at all. Ursa Minor, she will find her way, Ursa Minor, she will find her way. Bernadette knew what she saw was real. She dug in the dirt to find waters that heal. They didn’t believe her, they thought she was crazy. Brave bear, little bear, brave bear, little bear. Ursa Minor, she will find her way, Ursa Minor, she will find her way. In your heart there is a needle, it will not lead you astray. Polaris is within you; let it help you find your way. One foot in front of the other, skipping over roots that scar. Running now you find your rhythm, leaping off into the stars...
12.
Oh, Aunt Clara! Glue your lashes, adjust your sash, and make sure those cheeks are rosy Lights go up, the piano’s thumpin’ along Take a breath and then squeeze it out behind dark and dingy teasers Strut on out and then wow ‘em with your song Oh, Aunt Clara, I wish I knew ya so that I could talk to ya and see you do your thing (“Ja-da, ja-da, jing, jing, jing”) You were a smalltime star of vaudeville and this skinny little broad will do the same Point your toe, only ankle show, and then inch it a bit higher Laugh it off, and then pat your coif as they stare Need the dough, you put on your show, all those whoopin’ fools won’t harm ya Charlie’s home cookin’ sauce that’s spiced with care Oh, Aunt Clara, I wish I knew ya so that I could talk to ya and see you do your thing (“Ja-da, ja-da, jing, jing, jing”) You were a smalltime star of vaudeville and this skinny little broad will do the same While with child you sang until you wore down your throat to imbue your babe with the gift of music As the child grew older it became clear that your darling son couldn’t sing a note, but... That’s okay ‘cause you had your heyday, your own Hoboken fame You made certain to thank from whence your gift came Prayed your rosary, though your prose would be shootin’ from the gutter You say, “God made dirt, and it won’t hurt, so get out of my fuckin’ way, hey brother” Oh, Aunt Clara, I wish I knew ya so that I could talk to ya and see you do your thing You were a smalltime star of vaudeville and this skinny little broad will do the same

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All songs (c) 2013 Petaluma Vale

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released June 7, 2013

All songs written by Petaluma Vale
Recorded, engineered, mixed, and mastered by Ariel Bernstein in Medford, MA
Drum tracks recorded and engineered by Raky Sastri in Littleton, MA
Album design and photography by Matt Samolis and Petaluma Vale
Stairwell photoshoot supervised by Whitney Van Dyke, featuring Freeport No. 5: Michael Lin stairwell installation at the Peabody Essex Museum (PEM) in Salem, MA
Makeup by Carol Basserman and Deanna Flanagan

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Petaluma Vale Boston, Massachusetts

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